You know you're a father when you can tell which child needs to have his diaper changed just by the smell. And yes, I do know that fact by experience.
     Father's Day has come and gone and I have learned a few things recently: #1: Riding a bike for 19 miles three days after you dusted it off again, after a year of not riding it, is going to have a negative effect on your body. #2: Riding a bike on a hot day makes you sweat. EVERYwhere. #3: There is a reason why many bike riders wear spandex shorts. Alrighty...moving along...
     So I went to a wedding on Saturday. Weddings are kinda false advertising for the rest of the marriage don't you think? I mean she's never going to look better than she does right then, and he's never going to be as romantic as he is right then. It's all down hill from there! Maybe that explains why so many people divorce. They would rather have another fairy tale wedding day than live out their wedding vows in the real world every day for the rest of their lives.
     The wedding was pretty, as most are, and then, I kinda botched things. Slightly. Accidentally. Embarassingly. I was talking to the bride and groom after the ceremony was over and wasn't watching where I was walking and accidentally stepped on the bride's veil/train right before she started trying to walk away. Ouch! Not good. I hope she doesn't get whiplash from that one! Incidentally, I wasn't the only one who did that that day, but comparing the flower girl's mistakes to my own probably isn't very mature. OH WELL...at least the video camera wasn't rolling.
     That was my Saturday. Then came Sunday, Father's Day, and I'm asking myself if I'm a good father. If I were graded on the curve I might do okay, but there's really quite a bit that I need to improve. I really don't want my kids following my example in everything I do, but I can't expect them to do any differently. You can't say, "Do as I say, not as I do." It just doesn't work. So, I"VE got to change if I want my kids to turn out better than I did. Not that I turned out terrible. It's just that the older I get, the more faults I see in myself. I'm getting less understanding and more defensive as time goes on. I yell more. I listen less. And I don't like it. I don't know if it's because I am getting more practice in raising my voice with the Two Under Two, but I don't enjoy having a loud home.
     Why can't every home be a haven? A peaceful place away from the hustle and bustle of the world. I tend to think a huge part of why my home isn't peaceful is my fault. I don't know how to leave work at work when I come home. And I think that stress that I bring with me affects my family, but I don't know how to do this any differently. And I halfway suspect that there really is no other way. Some people just can't turn it off. So la dee da...
     I called my dad on Sunday to wish him a Happy Father's Day. My parents are in the process of making an apartment out of the upstairs of their home so they can be snowbirds and not leave their home alone for the winter months. Now that us kids are gone, there's no need to heat that extra space and maybe they can make some money out of it too. So they've both been working whole days trying to get it done so they can rent it out. And I'm stuck out of state unable to help them. I know Dad can probably handle it, but I feel guilty that I'm not able to be there for him. I guess that's just the way the world is nowadays.
     It used to be that the son would settle down next door to either his parents or hers. The parents lived with their children when they couldn't work anymore, and helped out with their kids in turn. Holidays were family occasions. Not any more. Now the best I can do is two visits a year and a video phone. The Wife has mentioned more than once how nice it would be to have family around to maybe babysit for us once in a while, but here we are, and here we'll be for a while at least. But you do your best with what you've got, right?
     I don't know why I'm down today. Maybe I'm just tired from biking to the library again. Yes, I know, the endorphins are supposed to make you feel better. So why is it that all the people I see running down the road have a grimace on their face? Hmm? Well, I need to spandex-covered butt home. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks. After all, if you're going to be stupid, you ought to learn from it. Until next time, see you later!